Romance Never Goes Out of Style
Happy Valentine's Day, everyone! This Valentine's Day, I reached out to blogging powerhouse The Lifestyle Loop in the hopes that I could get their take on some relationship tips for those of us in Generation Z -- we're much newer at the whole romance thing!! Luckily, Sam put together this amazing post for us here at Thrive With Style. Check it out!
Romance Advice from a Veteran Millennial to Generation Z
Guest Blog Post by The Lifestyle Loop
Romance is never dead. It’s never gone. It’s never boring. What it is though, is hard. Romance seems to come easy at first but later in the relationship (especially 12 years in) it gets harder. It gets harder to be creative, to be spontaneous, and truthfully even to find the time. But the best and most important advice I can lend to any (new or old) relationship is to keep working on it. Don’t give up. And the good news is, you’ll get better at it over time and the even better news is romance never goes out of style! So, you can keep trying harder and keep getting better and it’ll actually pay off.
After seven years married to the love of my life and an additional five years prior to saying our vows, it’s safe to say that we’ve hit every stage of the relationship cycle multiple times. Throw two kids in there and all life’s curve balls and you don’t have a whole lot of room leftover for spontaneous romance.
In each relationship cycle you have two main stages… falling back in love with your partner and fighting with your partner. Sure, there are some other stages in between but those are the two that either drive you closer together or further apart. So always remember, much unlike the fads and trends in the world, romance will never go out of style.
From a veteran millennial (who feels and acts more like a generation older), here are my top 3 pieces of romance advice for Generation Z.
1. Make the Time to Listen to Your Partner
Communication is critical for every relationship. I’m not just talking about being on the same page as your partner, I’m talking about actually taking the time to talk to your partner. Make the time to talk every evening about your day, or about your goals for the week, or even about how you’re feeling. Not the one or two word sentences and replies but really engaging with each other. Those are the important communication points that you should be having.
But it doesn’t stop there. There is a difference between hearing your partner and listening to your partner. Hearing is when you’re taking in what they’re saying but you’re not really focusing on what is being said. Listening is when you’re engaged and reading between the lines. Sometimes all a relationship needs to get back on track is a one-on-one deep conversation. It’s amazing what uninterrupted time alone can accomplish.
2. Be thoughtful
It’s not just about picking up surprise flowers on your way home (which are still great, don’t get me wrong!). But I’m taking about taking the initiative to do something for your partner that would make his or her day a little easier. One of the most appreciated moments is when you know you’re not alone in the relationship. That’s it. This advice is short, simple, and to the point.
3. Be Proactive and Plan Date Nights
This is one of my favorites. After have kids, it gets harder to coordinate date nights. Think about it… in addition to planning the date night, I have to find a sitter and plan the night around the sitters’ times. And since my husband and I have been together for quite a while, it can be hard to come up with a date night that is actually worth spending all that money… dinner, drinks, some sort of activity like a movie or live music, Uber, and the babysitter’s fees.
So, a few years ago we decided to change it up a bit by taking turns planning date nights. We have a standing date night each month and we switch up who plans it. One of us will plan the entire night including Uber logistics and babysitting hiring/paying. Most of the time we keep it a surprise from each other which adds some excitement. It doesn’t always have to be something extravagant, even a daytime picnic at a beautiful lookout does the trick.
The point is, one person isn’t doing all the planning, all the time. It provides a little relief to the other person and adds an element of surprise. This goes back to advice #1 and #2 above. I was getting so burnt out on coming up with date nights and coordinated all the logistics that when my husband suggested he plan some of the date nights, I was so touched that he was thoughtful and read between the lines (which is such a good feeling that I didn’t have to ask him to do it. #winning!)
Well, there you have it. This is how my 12-year relationship always looped back to the falling back in love with your partner stage from the fighting with your partner stage. Romance can start and always reignite your relationship. Don’t forget that.
I’m not a love guru, but I am a real house wife living a real marriage sharing what works for me and my husband. I hope this helps you, Gen Z, and to anyone reading this blog!
Happy Valentine’s Day, lovers!
Sam & Jamie are the bestie bloggers behind The Lifestyle Loop, a blog covering all things lifestyle– fashion, family, fun, and everything in between.
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